Christmas Day

Made it back from Strathyre....was really good to have the break...although I am back..to have a break from carousing....all that industrial drinking and eating....blimey!!!...will take some time to shift. Returning to the village was nice in terms of talking to those I knew and liked before...and to see the family...but it was tinged with sadness really. A lot of folk are just the same old fools...and some I thought were ok are apparently not so due to their behaviour...Royston Vasey it is not but certainly a microcosm of our society. Had a really good chat with J and found out what has been going on from her point of view...concerning and I wish her all the best...and I do hope the situation resolves itself quickly and safely. Just goes to show....every partnership has troubles...although one person I chatted to...and had more chance to chat with...was lucky with his partnership...I spent many hours over the week chatting with the fella...and I fell he enjoyed my company. Was good to be in Fife and Glasgow...was good to be in Strathyre.....nice to be back here though...although there seems to be a wee leak in my pipe join and also from the old chimney....hmmmm....but I am home now. Now....the immensity of the task I have taken on hits me...and I am properly pooping it....in less than a week I need to have found my way around this technology...bought bits I do not have or do not work...found my banter...and then hope nothing breaks down...for my Hogmanay gig. Well, careful what you wish for I guess. I am aware my feelings of fear are just because it is new and unknown...where before...if it all goes pear shaped...it would just be me and the mic...this time...it will be in front of 70 odd folk...andvery very embarrassing..however...if it goes tits up...there will be other things there to keep it going....I will simply not ask for any money....then reconsider what I want to do in the future...how crazy is it though...to be gigging...for real....on my own!!! Although rested I am aware my health has not really picked up...I have been thinking about this for the new year...I guess the last months have shown me it is not only about going to a gym..it is the diet and lifestyle which compliments this...which gives you the energy to want to go to the gym or the pool after work...so the lack of activity and substituted thought in its place was not a waste...how to do this?...well...I guess I will go to the sports place and ask if they have a dietician..take it from there....things can't go on like it has been for the past weeks..although I am aware within myself I was "on my knees" and just coping until the end of the year. So, we shall see if I do anything about it. One major barrier to moving on and focussing ahead was a significant health scare presented to me..well..found out by me...by an ex partner of 5 months from this year...why bother looking ahead when looking ahead may not be appropriate or applicable. After months of investigating...correspondence...and a final stone wall..I had to take steps myself and am happy to say the situation has been resolved...as in I did not receive a call by Monday previous...so I can now move forward and plan ahead. On top of the hurt from that relationship..this additional stress, hurt and disappointment has knocked my faith in relationships (some may call this Karma...and I would accept this)but I shall continue to hope. Why not? With this in mind...I am happy to be here on Christmas Day..in my own home ad in control of my own future. My back is ok I have been told and the only health issues I have revolve around my M.E and my lifestyle...one of which I can influence directly and the other indirectly. The grief I have received about being on my own is a bit annoying really...I don't have my own family (cept Louise who beat me to a Christmas text by 5 mins!!) so why pretend with someone else's?...I don't think so...when the situation changes...as it had been previously...I will happily involve myself in a family/couple Christmas...but that may or may not happen...but I will enjoy it wholeheartedly. I look around at how stressed and unhappy people are when they are together...the financial strain they have put on themselves byt creating this "happy" family experience...well..no thanks ta. Felt almost like a cleansing experience this am...after a leisurely coffee....clipper to the head...blade to the chin....shower....refreshed and ready for some crap tv. Now what?....radio show tomorrow live...then..looking though the kit tomorrow afternoon....then a set up with me old mate Andy on Thursday....assess what does and does not work and then run around for parts...and a hurly burly cd...then again on my own on Friday....plus sort out tunage. The focus is all on the gig....practise and practise I guess. Merry Christmas one and all. Done and done.

Holiday

Hey hey....halfway through my soujourn in Strathyre....first time I have not been in pain or tired...or hungover!!..hee hee...the bar is full and I decided to remove masel to the quieter environs of the office..can hear the revelry but not in amongst it...perhaps talked out?...but the dog is here and we are cool and at peace....checking e mails as well. I thought I had pulled a muscle in my neck but I now think it is all the driving and the cumulative stress of the year....so having done all my driving here at the start of the week...Fife and Glasgow...I can relax...and intend to not do anything tomorrow. strange situation now S & J are splitting up....never at the same place at the same time....but I am chatting to both of them as and when i can...have offered to help J with some charity thing on Saturday...but that is more to be able to spend time with her and chat freely..impossible in the goldfish bowl that is the village bar!! Fife was fun...coffee..dentist....with no charge...hurrah!!!...then to dad's neighbour for sarnies and coffee....really good to chat...memories about dad and her late husband....Glasgow was the next day...lots of walking...time with Andy in his kitchen...he looked really happy to see me...and I was happy to be there...standing in a kitchen again...chatting to the chef while he tries to get on with prep and service....Stirling today...road tax bought...boo...chilling with S and his son...excellent....don't think I will be able to go for a walk tomorrow as the rain has not stopped in a good few days....which is fine as I am intending on chilling....the road beckons on sunday am and helping someone move a few things. Lucked out on the dj stuff....still looking for speaker stands are the most important...then a spare amp...and some insurance...then hopefully the money will be coming in rather than going out...at last. Tenant has agreed to hand in her notice in January to leave in March..which suits me fine...just the right timing and gives her enough time to find somewhere and move. Once her stuff is out it will not...should not...take too long to tidy up and make ready for placing on the market..so hopefully a long weekend in edinburgh should sort it out....then another for removing stuff after it is sold....target for financial security is really June 2013...by that time I should have done a few gigs and settled into that as well. Done and dusted.

Made It

Made it at last...phew.....a brief soujourn yesterday and still to pack......on the road in a wee bit...off to Brechin to drop off some more of the dj rig money....and then onwards. SO looking forward to chilling out in Strathyre. Festive Wishes to one and all.

Back on the map

..phew....got my lap top back for £118 and it does seem to be working...luckily I never converted a lot of my tapes on to the hard drive...as it was lost with the hard drive....but back I am. Tax for the car coming up...as is electricity bill....as is dj insurance....just in case I burn down the church on hogmanay or a speaker falls on someone...which of course will not happen. Then I hope...with the coming of 2013...the money will start to come in...and I bloody well need it to!! Cold cold cold outside but will be keeping warm as I can. done and done.