Edinburgh Be Damned!!

No...not the whole city...just my flat....it would seem that the area that has been a problem is no longer a problem...well...fek this right up. This property has changed from being the "1st property" and linch pin for everything else to being a drain on my finances and mental energy. There comes a time when you have to draw a line and try and move on...which is what I intend to do..although I doubt anything will happen over the coming months which means the leaks will be an issue. Sure the roof will hold but need to keep an eye on any tell tale signs. It was always the sure bet in a fluctuating situation but...now I have a permanent job...I think there is no need. The plan would be to sell and obtain a net profit...then either buy a flat in Glasgow managed..as in properly managed....buy the same Housing Association that manages my other property..so it is mortgage free..all monies coming in can then be used for upgrades or savings. the other option is to buy something up here with a mortgage and high deposit but I do not want to do that. I trust the Association in Glasgow and they have managed any repairs and monies due very well...so...I would like to go for that. The other oprion is to buy a static caravan and rent out over the summer but that is more hassle than it is worth. So...today..I am going to call the ESPC to suss the market...call a few solicitors...then the show...then meet the chap who is offering the dj equipment..and of course...check out bike clubs in the area. I feel I should let go of Edinburgh. Overdue to move on in many ways. 2 days until the wedding....my speech is written....going to be in tears but very proud of Andy and Wendy. Done and done.

Sleepless in...

Hitlon...2nd night with a disrupted sleep pattern....damn...hating it. Last night I woke up after a nightmare...my chest was pounding...blimey...I got a fright as this has never happened before. September has been a really intense month...and no..I do not mean my 40th!!...and only now as I settle at home do I realise I was away one week in Brissle....the next in Fife....staying put has allowed supressed emotions and feelings surface...and this is fairly uncomfortable...but necessary. Right now though..I need to be strong for Andy and Wendy...I need to get my speech sorted and also review the Small Claims process...which I will fill out on Sunday...as I am assuming Saturday will be write off. Had intended to go swiming this morning but I cannot be aersed...so what to do? TV!!! Then, hopefully, off to the hotel with Andy to sort a few things out...and food shopping...maybe get a walk in there as well. Done and done.

Sniffle...again

Up early and starting to come around.....as always after a walk into town and a few drinks....I never really drank much last night....a very different 40th than many I am sure but it felt right for me...and that is what is important. Driving to Fife via Perth.....Perth to pick up a small claims application form...had enough of chasing the only person left in that block who has not paid me...yes...there will be a fee but yes....this guy is definitely taking the piss...no...no...no. Then to Pattismuir to clean grandparents grave...then Dunfermline....meeting an old pal this evening...his suggestion not mine....and a fine one at that...and maybe someone else from my past....then dad's next door neighbour tomorrow morning and then back up here. Phew....and then...perhaps I can address this feeling of having to move all the time....sit still and let things seep in...a good long session in the garden might help I think...apart from the wedding next week I intend to do as little running around as possible...here's hoping. Done and done.

40!!!!

How do I feel now I have turned 40?...well...slightly miffed as I thought I would not be single...but then if that is the only thing "not quite right" I think I am doing fine. Not just another day but not overly celebrating. I have the radio show then a quiet drink with a friend then walk into town and see what the day brings. I feel calm...I am healthy and well as can be..not a lot to complain about...so I winna!!! At the age of 40...I am in a permanent job I love(well, most of the time), I own 4 properties with only one causing grief at the moment..1 of which I live in with a huge garden and nice neighbours...and at the back of our woodlands as well...I have friends I can rely on at any time of the day and a van (had to mention) which I am slowly paying off. Life is pretty good...especially when you look at the clients I work with and some of the other folk I am around. The gardening job is finished as far as I can see...at least for the moment...which may not be such a bad thing as I was toiling yesterday on the final mini session. I had to go for a jacuzzi only as I could not take the heat of a sauna...a sure sign of fatigue. I popped into the office and only then realised that I am pretty lost when not working in one form or another...at least I am aware of it!!!....so with these days off what to do? Well, I am going to Dunfermline to see dad's grave and also down to my grandparents grave in Rosyth and I expect it will need a significant clean. On the way I will stop off at Perth and pick up an application form from the Small Claims Court...stay over in Dunfermline..trying a new hotel through Laterooms...and then stop off at dad's next door neighbour on the way back up. When I am back and rested I will work in my own garden..can you believe it...sort out the stuff in the spare room and call an electrician for possible work...a key stage in the refurbishment...swim...jacuzzi...oh...and my bestest friends wedding a week Friday...for which I am Best Man to her fella..hurrah...going to be an expensive night but looking forward to it. I will also be speaking to a fella who has offered to loan me his rig so I can see if I want to do the DJ business...gardening is fun but heavy going and not quick enough to bring in the cash to pay off the overdraft caused by purchasing the van..which would mean I can save for unexpected costs as they come in. Edinburgh is a total fecking nightmare. The roof was built wrong. The Factor has totally disappeared and the Council no longer issues Repair Notices as the team are under investigation for taking back handers....if we had been a few months earlier we would have been sorted but I cannot afford £40K to fix and not sure what is going on. Just keep on going with that one and then see what happens...but I expect to receive calls for internal repairs over the winter as this winna be fixed soon. Hey ho. I guess I had better go and sort my tunes out. Happy holidays and happy birthday to me!!! Done and done.

Burn

Well......after a long day in the sun doing my Gardening job....here I am...on my tod and chilling...mixed emotions on that one...but generally...balanced. Good exercise today...after a few tough days with the gang at the nursery...pulling out all that stuff...damn...a well overgrown garden but it will give me the money to help get out of the overdraft...which will be soon. Ups and downs....hey ho. Went up to Murdo's for Andy's Stag thing....was quite literally in pain when I went there...my God....not been like that in a while...my hands ached..and my arms...and now my back hurts...well..more my shoulders....but after a shower it feels fine...I will have a relaxing day tomorrow...well..as relaxing as I usually have...some things to do but it should be fine...sauna and jacuzzi....food shop...wash on...walk into town...and a few beers....done and dusted. All I want is some peace and quiet and stability and someone to be with me for me...just like everyone else I guess...but never happens. Hoping to pop down to Fife soon and clean gran and grandad's grave...been a long time...and see dad's...we shall see if there is money for that. Done and done.

Sniffles

Well..been down to Bristol...sweating in the sun in the suit...all sorts of tension going on...but it was good to have done it..for Miche.....and for dad...spent a lot of time with Andy..which was good as we talked a lot..at one point I thought this must be what it was with dad and George....quite emotional really. I walked through Bristol like an old hand....I pretty much knew my way around although I had to becareful to not look to much like a tourist...even with my ruby red suitacse with suit and phot albums for Andy and Alex..never been on a bus to Emerson Green...knew it was going to take a while and by Jimminy it did....but you either enjoy the journey or end up being stressed...so I just went with it...this cool rastafarean guy about 6ft 4" was the driver and he sang all the way out there...and showed me where to go....nice one fella. All too soon it was time to come back but Andy picked me up in the morning and we had some time to ourselves as well...whcih was nice...and a drive to the airport. What a change from the Inverness terminal..Bristol is much bigger but just as quick...all nice and efficient...and the van was still there and I was allowed out...only to be diverted by 30 odd miles as (I later found out)a motor cyclist had been killed on the road between Huntley and Inverurie....I almost ended up back on the road following a copper car as well...blimey....my challenges seem small...that poor motor cyclist...dead on the A96. Bless. Back to work and things go on as usual...well...only for a week and then off for 2 weeks as we had intended to go away...but that isn't happening...so I am working on my gardening project...shaving off bits of the overdraft..and still having my own time...and looking forward to Andy and Wendy's wedding at the end of the month...as Best Man....I still have no input from England for my speech.....but I am relaxed about it and looking forward to the day.....although it is in the most expensive hotel in Aberdeen..but it will be fine. Back 1 week after my hols and then another week off..but volunteering again..after all these years!!!....going to work with the tree squad....good experience and perhaps an avenue to another job if it may come down to it?...or perhaps a different source of funding for this job? We shall see. Right now...I hurt cos my cousin is gone....I hurt cos I have been hurt and let down....but I can keep going....as long as my health holds...my back especially....and I will do so as best I can. Someone is out there for me...I know it. A new role down the south part of town....the role will take me back to the origins of rangering...a challenge...a good one...and one I look forward to embracing...specially if I have my chainsaw ticket!!! Done and done.