Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

My goodness...it is cold!!!...had to wear a hat overnight...upgrading my day time hat as I think I need a double layer.

Almost paid off the taxman..which is a great relief...once I am paid then I can finish off the last couple of a hundred....other financial issues...the flat in Perth...1 more cheque arrived and not expecting more....printing off the small claims information today...this will drag on for a while I think.

I went out on a Christmas event with CSO staff on Saturday....big thing for me....1st big social event for me in a long long time...1st without being in a relationship....and 1st time in the suit since dad's funeral. I went with the attitude of simply enjoying the evening...taking what I wanted from the evening and leaving when I had had enough. Was good to be chatting to folk...loud (crap) music meant my ears were ringing and not the best for chat...beer was pricey but if you go to the Hilton what are you supposed to expect? It was good. I enjoyed it. I left before midnight but didn't get up the road until much later....bloody public transport!!!

Been a bit fed up with the job as the "team" won that award apparently..pic to follow...I am all for playing the team game....no probs there...but I was the only one involved with the jail work...the only one who planned and delivered it...the only one who did 10 hour days while everyone else cruised along...fek!!!...but hey...we were the 1st up and we won!!!..so been looking around...realised though...it will pass and if it doesn't and the funding runs out...which is possible as it ends in March....and then I will go on redistribution...full pay...different job..and some time to find something else...perhaps a subconscious reaction to the recent change in personal circumstances?...anyway...I am staying...I am decorating over Christmas...and I will see what happens.

It seems the house is sold in Fife. I think this is good for mum as it must have been a financial strain to keep it going on no salary. In addition...and more importantly....emotionally....it must be a line drawn under this years terrible events. I am swithering whether to go along and see the house for the last time but I feel I had long enough to spend time in dad's presence and say my goodbyes to the house. I can see no positive outcome in dredging it up again.

I look forward to Christmas....I will be on my own...but I will be in my house....which should be liveable by then.....and then moving on to the new year.

Tara